Are you tired of giving a damn?
Constantly stressed by work, bills, news, or that group chat you regret joining?
You may be suffering from Chronic Overcareness Disorder (COD).
Introducing FUQITOL® — the world’s first prescription-strength apathy enhancer. Clinically unproven but wildly effective in helping you say “nah, I’m good” to life’s nonsense.
What is FUQITOL used for?
Micromanaging bosses
Reply-all email threads
Passive-aggressive neighbors
Social media outrage fatigue
Holiday family gatherings
Existential dread before 9am
Commuter traffic
General wakeful periods
How does FUQITOL work?
"FUQITOL is designed to rapidly activate your brain’s ‘don’t give a damn’ receptors, helping you ascend above life’s daily nonsense like a Zen pigeon riding a thermodynamic current of blissful apathy.
The more you incorporate FUQITOL into your life, the faster you may notice the effects — from mild eye-rolls to complete transcendence.
Drama doesn’t vanish. You just stop caring."
Common Side Effects May Include:
Sudden indifference to Karen’s complaints
Uncontrollable urge to delete Slack
Increased use of phrases like “not my circus, not my monkeys”
Passive smiling during arguments
Enhanced appreciation for naps, snacks, and doing absolutely nothing
Serious Side Effects (Rare):
Dancing in public without shame
Spontaneous road trips
Ghosting toxic people
Freedom
FUQITOL® — When life gets petty, get prescription-level unbothered.
Ask your vibe about FUQITOL today. Because sometimes, the healthiest response is simply... not caring.